Honouring the Dead
by joanna, NSW
Dramatherapist, Aged 59
For the past few years I have been fortunate enough to be involved in a special 'Celebration for the Dead' which is held in November each year. It has come about as a result of the work of followers of Rudolf Steiner who, as well as introducing to the world an innovative school curriculum, was a deep thinker in other fields also, such as religion, medicine and farming. He believed that just as when we are asleep, we cannot see the bedroom furniture, so when we live on the earth, we cannot see the spirits of the dead who walk with us. He thought it was important for them as well as for us to stay in contact.
What started as a remembrance of the dead who accompany us in our daily lives, has become, through the work of Susan XXXX* and others, an opportunity for interested people to come and light a candle in memory of their dead person, and to hear music and brief talks about others who have passed into the spiritual world. Those remembered may have nothing to do with Steiner's philosophy, and the ceremony is open to everyone.
With the help of Steiner's indications, the pioneers wanted to combine clarity of thinking and warmth of heart to help lead people to consciousness in passing over the threshhold - the kind of journey Elisabeth Kuebler-Ross tells us about. Practically speaking, they wanted to know the wishes of individuals, to help them make the journey, and accompany them to the gate between life and death, and give special consideration to the family after their passage through it. As well as help with grieving, they were giving the family an important option - to keep the deceased relative at home for three days, without using makeup or embalming chemicals. It would then be possible to keep a vigil and to sing and read to the dead person. People could visit and pay their respects to the dead if the family so wished.
It seems to me that these people were midwives of the dead - witnesses to a special journey and process that can be filled with love and empathy, without the stiffness and fear that so often accompanies our rebirth into the spiritual world in this age. This kind of ritual encourages deep feeling, rather than some of the funeral rites lampooned by Evelyn Waugh in The Loved One.
I first became involved in organising this ritual celebration in 1998. My own father had died the year before, and I had been able to keep his body at home and have music around his bed. There were flowers everywhere, and my Buddhist brother chanted, and I read his favourite passages from Shakespeare and the Bible.
I have been able to speak about my father at one of these celebrations, and light a candle for him. Others have done this for their special people too - there have been people grieving from the recent suicides of loved ones, those in touch with AIDS victims, and many more.
In planning celebrations, people have wanted the whole person to described in word pictures. There has been a gospel reading, lyre-playing and poetry.
Above all, we have wanted the celebration to be warm and inclusive. We have invited participants to bring candles, and our brief, simple ceremony ended with their illumination. Because we were careful about boundaries and initial closing and final opening of the door, people felt safe to assuage some of their grief as well as acknowledging their dead.
This year,the celebration will be held once more, at Rudolf Steiner House,
307 Sussex Street, on 2nd November, All Saints day, at 3.00 p.m. It is not a 'religious ritual' in the accepted sense, but is a very valuable spiritual experience.
'Those who have passed over into the spiritual world do not abandon us. Let us not abandon them.'
(Joanna Jaaniste, January 2003)
*Susan's three children died, each aged younger than 20.
Copyright © Australian Museum, 2009